


Gold

by babyboyisak



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fluff, Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Magnus Bane/Camille Belcourt, Warlock Marks (Shadowhunter Chronicles), loving Alec Lightwood, racism against warlocks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 08:17:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14233107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyboyisak/pseuds/babyboyisak
Summary: Camille used to make Magnus feel very bad about his warlock mark. Alec ain’t ‘bout that life.First half is set in the past while Magnus was with Camille, second half is Magnus' current wonderful life with his loving shadowhunter boyfriend :)





	Gold

               “I’m sorry!” Magnus reached out for Camille as she slid off the bed and strode towards the door with intent. She didn’t turn around. “It’s difficult to control, I’m trying…” he trailed off, looking after her. She wasn’t listening any more.  
               A familiar, freezing sensation was growing in his stomach, spreading through his body like icicles, as though trying to reach his extremities. He knew what it was. Guilt. And it made sense when he thought about it. Sure, he couldn’t really help that his eye glamour sometimes failed when he was excited. But this was Camille… He _knew_ he ought to try harder for her, but he had let himself lose control again. He couldn’t keep slipping up like this. He couldn’t lose her.  
               Magnus’ jaw was clenching without him even noticing it, and he stared at the bedsheets around his feet, unmoving. The bathroom door clicked open, and he listened to Camille moving about in the kitchen. When she re-appeared in the door, he did not look up at her, his gaze lingering on the sheets still. She stood there in silence for a while, sipping on her mug of blood.  
               “Sweetheart, you have to get that under control,” Camille spoke suddenly. Magnus finally looked up at her, but only for a short moment before looking down again in defeat.  
               “I know,” he sighed. “I really am sorry, Camille. I know it-… They... Make you uncomfortable.”  
               “So why haven’t you come up with a better spell?” she wanted to know, taking another mouthful from the mug in her hand. He dared looking up at her again, his dark brown eyes imploring her to try and understand.  
               “It doesn’t work like that, sadly,” he sighed painfully. “There is no permanent or automatic solution for problems like this.”  
               “Ugh,” Camille simply groaned, disappearing into the kitchen once more. When she came back, she no longer had her mug with her. She crossed her arms as she stood in the doorway again, leaning against the frame. Around them was dead silence for a few moments while she observed him.  
               “You keep making that excuse. But do you know what it’s like, being a vampire in a relationship with a warlock?” She huffed out a joyless laugh. “Of course you don’t. It’s humiliating, Magnus. You know that I don’t care about what you are, but others do. They judge me. And I don’t constantly need reminders of why, not in our own home.” While she spoke, Magnus shrunk into himself. He wished the bed would open up and eat him whole, hide him from everything and everyone.  
               “I know,” he replied. “I will do better. I’m sorry.” He had to control himself, for her. This was what she wanted, and he would give her absolutely anything. Again, she sighed.  
               “Just… Please, at _least_ while we’re in bed together. Think you can do that? It makes you look like an damned animal, and I'm not attracted to animals.”

 

                                --- 

 

               “They’re beautiful… You’re beautiful.” Magnus’ chest fluttered as he drew a deep breath. Beautiful… Alexander had called him beautiful. Had called his _eyes_ beautiful. And the nephilim’s hand gently cradling the side of his face was real and warm. Magnus swore he could actually feel the tension bleed out of him, as though the hand on his cheek was vacuuming it out of his body. Alec was not moving away, and not looking away either. He was smiling, his full attention on the warlock. And Magnus could not help but return the smile, his hand moving to hold onto Alec’s wrist, wanting the younger man to know how welcome the touch was. Alec had taken him, century old Magnus Bane, by surprise yet again.  
               Magnus could feel tears threatening to well up in his deglamoured eyes, and he closed them with a breath that trembled only the slightest bit as he leaned into his boyfriend’s caress.  
               “You have no idea how much it means to hear you say that, Alexander,” he murmured, turning his head to press his lips against the middle of Alec’s palm. The gesture felt almost silly to him, cliché from being used so much in movies, but he hoped Alec saw it for the heartfelt kiss that it was. Then, he took a small breath, his mouth suddenly unwilling to keep quiet.  
               “But even if that’s how you feel… I didn’t want you to see… This. See _me_ like this,” Magnus continued. “It’s just that it takes a bit of concentration to keep the glamour--”  
               “Magnus. Stop,” Alec cut him off, his voice gentle but determined. “You’ve nothing to worry about. I want you to be yourself around me. And to relax. Okay?” The genuine look in the young shadowhunter’s eyes was almost tangible. A little shaken from being observed with so intense a gaze, Magnus simply nodded, and it made Alec smile that familiar, broad smile that was so characteristic for him.  
               Magnus finally turned around fully so his front was facing the other, and they sat there for a moment, simply looking into each other’s eyes. When Alec leant in to claim his lips, Magnus found himself leaning in as well, meeting him halfway, and his eyes slipped closed. He hadn’t noticed them taking each other’s hands until Alec squeezed his, gently, as though Magnus was something precious and fragile. The feeling made Magnus tremble. Suddenly, he felt overwhelmed with emotion, his affection for the nephilim flaring up and rendering him breathless for a short moment.  
               “Alexander,” he whispered as he let himself be guided to lie down on the golden covers underneath them. Alec’s hand was on the back of his head, so gentle, letting him relax on the way down. His eyes never left Magnus, and they were full of nothing but admiration. Right then, Magnus felt like here, with his amazingly loving and sweet Alec, for the first time in many, many years, it was okay for him to simply be.


End file.
